Yeah, so....I was thinking last night that life is strange sometimes.
I'm visiting grand babies and other family members and friends in the Biggest Little City this weekend, (yippee!) and my Rock n' Roll Buddy came along with me. He wants to see where I lived...and worked....what things look like...he wants to put pictures with the some of the stories I've shared with him.
No, that part isn't strange at all.
This weekend would have been my wedding anniversary, if that were in fact the path I was meant to be going down. Now that part...that seems strange, rather like I am hearing about some other girl's life. Out of 52 weekends in the year, this is the one where I will re-visit my old life, and share more stories and little details about it with someone that I would never have even met were it not for the fact that I no longer have that wedding anniversary.
It doesn't matter to me any longer which anniversary it would have been, and were it not for this trip (and typing May 27 about fifty times at work on Friday) I really wouldn't have given the date much more than a passing thought, which makes me feel good.
Really good, in fact.
It means I've moved on. I'm happy these days. I am, for the most part, healed from the cannon-ball-through-the-heart injury that I felt would surely kill me nearly five years ago. (Oh. My. Can it really be nearly half a decade?) From the day I found myself suddenly single and a few weeks later moved out of the big house, until now, I never thought I'd go back by there. I told myself there was no need. Actually, I didn't think I could handle it. It would be far too painful.
Funny how getting another person's perspective can give you a new insight into things- a fresh view. After talking with my Rock n' Roll Buddy about revisiting where I used to be, I realized that all of my past is a part of me, both the good memories and the not-so-good. It's about what we take away from the people and experiences in our lives, because after all, that's what has made us who we are today....(We'll see how I feel later this weekend after going on the driving tour down memory lane.)
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Have a safe trip "back home" Tracey.
ReplyDeleteTracey, I hope that your trip goes well. I appreciate how well written this post was. The cannonball struck my heart, too and I know how those memories can be. We all have life experiences...some happy...some sad...some unspoken and unknown by others. Thanks for having the courage to share. May you make new and wonderful life experiences this weekend!
ReplyDeleteReally happy for you!
ReplyDeleteGod bless your time back home. May it be good in all ways. Carol in Az.
ReplyDeleteI think we readers have travelled along beside you somehow Tracey over these years and we've read the painful and we've read the joyful...may this journey back give you a fresh wind of contentment - you're so deserving of Tracey.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless,
Barbra.
You will be just fine and I am sure after this weekend you will be looking so forward to the future. Hugs Mary
ReplyDeleteIt took me about 5 years to heal from the "death of my marriage" of 23 years....that was in 1993! We didn't divorce until 1996 so 3 years in limbo. I know what you mean by it seems like it was another life, another person, but it was me. I've now made a new life for myself, and actually remarried almost 8 years ago, so there is life after "death" of marriage....if and when you are ready and when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteXOXO!
Judy